HELP!!! A saber-toothed tiger is chasing me

How being aware of my breath helped me calm the f**k down

Joey Joyful | Hypnologist

11 min readDec 19, 2019

So I’m back at it again

Another ‘Travel Within’ workshop

I’m inviting employees to come and meditate with me throughout the day

Nothing too complicated

I detail how the stress response works, and God knows how stressed working for the airline industry can be

Fight or flight response is actually working ‘FOR’ us to stay alive

When we were Cro Magnon living in the steppes with saber-toothed tigers running around, we were the prey

And as prey, it’s important to know the dangers around us

So everything is a potential threat for the amygdala, or reptilian brain

And when we sense a threat, the brain sends out cortisol throughout system

And what cortisol does, it’s truly amazing, cortisol is a messenger telling all the different systems in the body to pause their activities

The only systems that will receive any type of energy or focus will be the systems related to either fighting off an enemy, or fleeing to safety

So the muscle groups will be receiving a lot of energy

We will start seeing very narrow, whatever is right in front of us only

All of our senses will be heightened, sounds, smells, touch, to get more awareness of our immediate surroundings

Also, digestive system, immune response, creative thinking, these will all be shut down, or paused for the time it takes to fight off the threat or flee to safety

The problem we have as modern day thinkers, is we can think about a threat and imagine it to be real, and it will be for us

Think about it

When you wake up from a bad dream, nothing was happening except for whatever was in your mind

It was all imagined

And even though it wasn’t “real”, it still had tremendous affect on you

Your hearts will be pumping, you might be sweating, you’ll be out of breath, and so on

And it was all in your head

That doesn’t mean it wasn’ t any more real for you

And it’s the same thing when we are imagining the worst case scenario in any given situation

Or when we qualify whatever is happening to us as ‘bad’, or ‘awful’, or when we say ‘This should never happen’, or ‘I should’ve said this, or that’, and we get lost in rumination and fear mongering

You see, the situations themselves are not at fault here, it is our perception of the situation that will ultimately have an impact on how we will respond to it

And that is not entirely our fault

Because our thoughts today, are there because of something

And It’s not what we think it is

Our thoughts are fed to us, taught to us first by our parents

They are our first tribe so to speak

And as they teach us, mostly by how they act, we learn what it means to be human

They show us by their actions what is right or wrong, what we are expected to do, say, even feel sometimes, i any given situation

And to no fault of their own, their beliefs and values were set upon them by their parents, same as us

And we repeat the cycle

So, our parents show us and teach us how to be a good little human

And I say parents, but I should really state family at large

Grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins, etc

Our clan, our last name, we identify with it very strongly

We Smith’s are like this. It’s who we are

We identify with the first clan

Then, when we go to school and make friends, we notice different ways of being, of talking, different beliefs and values

And that’s when things get really complicated, because now we might start doubting the core clan, and we get confused

So our parents, our family, now our teachers and peers and friends

They all teach us different ways of being, of feeling, different beliefs and values

And they are all valid to a degree, because whatever you believe to be true is true to you

And that’s your reality

And as you explore different realities. you start wondering, what else is there

Exploring the world and other ways of being is exciting, sometimes scary

Our amygdala is always on the lookout

Whenever we get frightened, we stop exploring and go back to the core clan, the place we feel the most secure

It could be our most secure clan changes as we grow older, and that’s normal

Often this happens during adolescence when we rebel against our parents

Mostly, when our family starts wanting to change who we are becoming, and not accepting who it is we want to be, as we are

So a group accepts us for who we are, at school say, and we enter that new group, and we learn the behaviours and beliefs and values of this new clan, because they accept me for who I am, so I want to show respect and be part of this safe and secure clan and want to fit in, so I go about learning the social behaviours of this new group

It’s all about safety, always

Safe to be who I am, and accepted as such

Fight or flight

Can this person safely protect me when I’m sick, asleep, unaware

And if I feel safe with this person, I will want to look like him (her), talk like him (her), think like him (her)

Always our amygdala and the stress response

So our amygdala is always on the lookout, our unconscious mind is in charge of the amygdala, the autonomous nervous system

Simply put, the one we don’t control consciously

So the autonomic nervous system keeps us safe

Always scanning for ‘perceived threat’

And I want to highlight the word ‘PERCEIVED’ here

Because perception is key

Whatever we perceive as being a threat, will be a threat for us

Remember, ‘Whatever we imagine, is real’. Same as a dream

So if we perceive a threat, our body right away goes into fight or flight mode

Sends off cortisol in the blood stream and shuts off whatever will not help us fight off the threat, or flee from it

Until the perceived threat is gone

We can see it when we watch the national geography documentaries

The African steppes, a herd of antelope grazing, they hear the crack of a twig

Right away their heads shoot up

They hear another sound and they’re off

All running every which way until the feel safe again and the immediate threat is gone

This goes on for a few minutes, no predator in sight, it was something else, they stop, they shake it off (literally shake vigorously their bodies) which has the effect of freeing the body of the remainder of cortisol and they continue grazing as if nothing ever happened

Now let us imagine something similar in a human’s life

You’re walking down a dark alley because you’re late for work, taking a shortcut

Already worked up because it’s the second time this week you’re late, and you’re afraid of losing your job

And as you walk down this dark alley, alone, you’re hearing is cranked up to like 10/10, so you hear every little noise

And the noises you hear sound like someone is following you

Look back all you see is shadows

Did that shadow move over there, behind the dumpster?

Keep moving

The sound comes back, a shuffling sound, it’s getting louder, faster, closer

Look back again, again nothing, but now all the shadows seem to be moving

Turning around, now I start running for my life, there’s a predator in the alley with me

I’m already being kidnapped in my mind with no chance of escape, damn that last thriller on Netflix feeding my overactive mind

When I reach the lighted street at the other end of the alley my heart is pumping out of my chest, I’m totally out of breath, forearms, tibias and palms have all broken out in a cold sweat, areas that never should be sweating in the first place

And what follows me out of the alley, a rat caught in a plastic bag trying to get at the crumbs inside, completely oblivious of me

And there I was, imagining the worst

I’m sure you felt that, even though you were just reading words on a screen

It flared up your imagination, and you related to something primordial inside of you, and it could be that your heart is pumping and you’re out of breath and maybe even sweating as well right now, because this type of situation has happened to all of us in some form

Could be the sense of a clawed and mommified hand reaching for you as you come up from the dark basement after shutting off the lights

Because that’s how we stayed alive for thousands of years

With the amygdala assessing threats all around us, all the time

The problem we have is we humans developed the pre-frontal cortex

Great to solve problems, develop speech, imagine a better world

Great place as well to create problems, imagine the worst and stay in a place of fear that doesn’t really exist in the real world of the five senses

And we don’t shake it off, like the antelope in the steppes

We keep it inside, and for shame we don’t always share it

Because we feel ridiculous, and it’s nonsense, and I shouldn’t bother with such thoughts

And yet they are there

And acknowledging these thoughts, and allowing them to have a place to live, and allowing them also to have a place to die off and come to a halt

Well, that’s what meditation is for

To shake it off

To come back to our senses

And as you explore that expression, ‘Come back to your senses’, what does it really mean?

What senses?

Our five senses?

Right

Sight, sound, smell, taste and touch

Come back to what is ‘REALLY’ happening

Whenever you feel out of touch (again an expression in line with our senses), or you can’t see straight (sight), come back to the senses

What is it that you see right now? Or better yet, find 5 things that are red around you

Then listen and identify 4 things you can hear. Outside in the world, or inside as well

Three smells, either imagined or real

Two things you can taste

And one feeling, either emotional or physical, like the chair I am sitting on right now, or the feet on the floor

3 S’ and 2 T’s

Sight sound, smell, taste and touch

Come back to your senses, it does wonders, and it takes only a minute or two

Get out of your head and into your body

And meditation helps with this as well

Meditation, ‘to remember’ in Pali, effectively remembering who we are and what is really happening right now

Outside of our perception of what is happening

A working definition of ‘Mindfulness Meditation’ by Jon Kabat-Zinn, the father of ‘MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction)’, he has been dubbed the man who brought meditation to the western culture, is the following:

“Paying a particular type of attention, with intention, in the present moment, non-judgmentally”

Intentionally focussing on what it is that is happening right now, with the senses. And we are doing this in the present moment. So not ruminating about the past and what could’ve, should’ve or would’ve been done then, and not creating 1,001 imagined situations in the near of far future, NOW. What is happening RIGHT NOW. And all of this without judgement.

We attach a lot of who we are to judgement.

This is good. This is bad. And even though it is important to know the difference between good and bad, realizing this is all just a concept. A belief.

Good and bad according to whom?

Every culture, religion, political party, ethnicity has a different definition of what is good or bad, right or wrong, this or that.

And they are all true

Read that again

THEY, ARE, ALL TRUE

According to them

And coming back to our senses, and letting go of the need to be right, and to defend a position, can feel good

—

One thing that helps me most is to ask myself, whenever I am feeling bad, or stressed, or lost in thought and ruminating about a situation and it’s making feel from bad to worse, I ask myself, “Is this helpful”

If I am able to better define what it is I want in life, what it is I am aiming for, and the thoughts I am having are filling me with stress and anguish and anxiety, I ask myself, “Is this helpful, is this useful towards my goals? Feeling stressed?”

Most often the answer will be no

And when the answer is no, then I have a choice

Continue on this path of stress and anguish and worry, to no avail as I already defined this as not helpful or not useful to my goals

Or change my thought patterns, explore a different way of seeing the world, of defining it

Maybe even stop the defining of it, and be curious about how else this could look

I feel as if this is what is meant when we talk about ‘the beginner’s mind’

Whenever you start something new, in the beginning, sure you might already have an opinion of what that thing is, a new class you’re attending that someone told you about, a new car you want to buy and looked at the specs, a sport you attend for the first time that someone invited you to. The people that put you into contact with this new thing will have introduced it in a certain way, and yet you will be experiencing it for the first time.

And it will all be new, and that mindset you will be in will be one of wonder, and curiosity, and joy, and discovery

As when you bring a child to the amusement park for the first time, or a play ground, or anything for that matter, children are mostly in this state all the time. You see it when you look into their eyes

But us, after a lifetime of learning we believe we’ve seen it all, and our minds have put things in it’s place inside, and we tend to forget that every situation is completely new. And that’s not entirely out fault. It’s a mechanism of the mind to automate things to make life easier so we can put our attention somewhere else

But every single moment of your existence is new to the last moment you lived. It never repeats itself

It might be similar, but never exactly the same

Remember what it feels like to be amazed, and to feel wonder, to feel excitement and the feeling of joyful surprise

That is the beginner’s mind

And that is partly what meditation can help you acquire, and develop, and tap into

So from stress to wonder in a little bit over 2,000 words

I’m hoping you’ve learned something new about the stress response and how meditation can teach you to come back to your senses and see your attention as a skill you can develop and then use it as a tool to reach the goals you set out for yourself